Wednesday, April 8, 2009

First Entry-*Numb Pain..Oh the Joy!*

everything seems to be a blur...

i don't know why i'm thinking this way...but, i finally feel alive, for once. I feel my chest go up and down. I realize, i'm actually breathing...which is good. I feel that there's a cool feeling when you face the air conditioner. And that's the feeling i love the best. A wonderful cool feeling...

That's what i feel on the outside

The inside is a whole different story...

I don't feel a cool sensation anywhere inside me. Specially near the chest and the temples. I don't feel anything at all inside me. Because, they're all numb. I guess i finally mastered the art of controlling the pain inside the body. Because, i've been hurt so many damn times, my inners finally had mercy on me. They finally eased the pain up, by not being painful! Making sense now?...

I blame everything on his smile...
On his laugh...
On the way he asks for a pencil everytime we have a pop quiz.
But that's just him. And I have no choice but to give in to his boyish charms, and giggle silently inside my head.

But, why the heck am i falling for him?
I have someone waiting for me...and he has someone right there for him. And the worst part is, he doesn't know that every night, I keep thinking about what if's...

...i don't know why, but i hate the feeling of numb pain.


-Jenna

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